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We’re all in it together

Under increasing pressure last night to defend his controversial claim that ‘we’ are all in ‘it’ together, Mr Cameron stood firm.

“In fact,” he said, “we will be moving to rename this country ‘IT’ at the earliest opportunity, just to reinforce our commitment to this key catchphrase. We are all in IT together, and anyone who wishes to dispute this will only need to consult a map. Not yet though. Right now that wouldn’t confirm the obvious truth of our slogan, and if you consulted the wrong kind of geography book it might even suggest that there is a divide in this country between the quality of life of the richest and the poorest. This confuses people. Our important piece of legislation will address any apparent inequalities and settle this distracting argument for once and for all.”

Mr Cameron denied that renaming the country was a desperate bid to defend an increasingly hollow and offensive lie.

“I am a man of my word,” he said staunchly. “And when I say we’re all in it together, I stand by that, even if it requires a new law and a lot of new school books to be printed. This will be a new country once we change its name, and no one will ever laugh at me again when I say we’re all in it together.”

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