Home > Uncategorized > Mervyn King revealed as sleeper agent for the far left

Mervyn King revealed as sleeper agent for the far left

 

It emerged this week that Mervyn King, Governor of the Bank of England, has been a sleeper agent for the far left throughout his long career in British economics.

His secret identity was revealed when he exploded with Trotskyite venom on Wednesday, blaming bankers for the collapse of the banking systems and subsequent recession. His comments have shocked Whitehall, who only last month issued a fiat to the effect that bankers were now absolved of any blame for any recent financial problems, that the people of UK would never mention it again, that it was time for bankers’ bonuses to grow to gargantuan proportions once more, and that the recession was all Labour’s fault anyway.

Not content with blaming the bankers for the collapse of the economy, Mr King went on to suggest that ‘ordinary people’ were now ‘bearing the brunt of the cuts’ – completely undermining the Tories’ consistent rhetoric on this subject, which has made it clear that the scroungers who bear the brunt of the cuts are completely different to ‘ordinary people’. He further suggested that such ‘ordinary people’ should be ‘angry’ about this.

This extraordinary outbreak, compared on the internet to the insane rantings of Gadaffi and Charlie Sheen, led swiftly to a single conclusion amongst reasonable analysts. Mervyn King is in fact a crazed Trotskyite. He has operated as a sleeper agent for the far left during rise through the Bank of England, and has only now openly revealed his secret plan to bring down capitalism.

There was rampant speculation about what Mr King might say next, having finally broken his cover. Rumours spread about the possibility of further revolutionary comments, and by Thursday the insurrection seemed to be growing in the financial sector, with a leading economist suggesting publicly that the government’s current policy of firing everyone might not actually work. Firing all the scroungers from the jobs the country can’t afford might prevent them from buying shiny electronic goods, he suggested, and could lead to further depression of the economy.

With the country still reeling from this incoherent socialist blasphemy, Mr Cameron has reacted with customary efficiency. He announced this afternoon that Mervyn King has been removed from post pending execution.

“No, it certainly isn’t unreasonable,” said the Prime Minister, when asked for some clarification about his actions. “The one thing we ask from the head of the Bank of England is that his doesn’t turn out to be a sleeper agent for the far left. I think it’s fair to say that we do not expect high standards from leading financiers in this country – we don’t ask them to be honest, accountable, competent or to pay tax. But being a sleeper agent for the far left crosses the line and we had to address this as a matter of priority.”

Mr Clegg confirmed that his party had been consulted and fully agreed that this approach was fair. “Executing sleeper agents for the far left who have infiltrated the Bank of England and worked as its head for twenty years is completely fair and balanced,” he said tonight.

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Categories: Uncategorized
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  1. March 4, 2011 at 11:19 am

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